* This article was originally published in Soulacy Magazine. Soulacy is an incredible digital publication for soul-led people looking to learn more about wellness, wealth, and leadership. Check out more inspiring articles by the diverse team of writers or buy a yearly subscription to read more each month!
“Just be yourself.” I have a vivid memory of my dad telling me that before my first job interview after college. At 22, I was pretty sure I knew who I was. Or, at least, what I wanted.
But, now, decades later and as the mom of boys, my values and priorities have shifted. And, the truth is, many days I’m uncertain of who I am.
Like that scene in Zoolander, when, after missing out on the Male Model of the Year award, Derek stares at his reflection in a puddle and asks, “who am I?” and his reflection says, “I don’t know.”
Does this resonate?
Humans are meant to evolve
At a soul level, our journey may be embedded into the fabric of our inner knowing, on a daily basis, our path through this human experience is filled with twists and turns, transitions and transformations.
And it can feel really unsettling.
My younger son finished primary school earlier this year. This month, he’ll join his older brother in middle school. The transition is clearly marked by the academic calendar. And, for most of last school year, his teacher, friends, and our family have been helping him prepare for and navigate it.
While there have been moments of trepidation (he’ll be going to a different middle school than his friends and is worried about making new friends) and anticipation (his new school is a 3-minute walk from our house instead of a 10-minute car ride so he’s looking forward to having more independence), overall, he knows this moment is part of growing up. He’s excited to explore and discover this next phase of his life.
Children can be our guides
My son is exemplifying for me how to flow through emotions and embrace change, firmly rooted in a sense of confidence and self-trust. He epitomizes what it’s like to see every experience as an opportunity to explore and discover the world.
In all the years that I’ve worked with kids and been parenting my own, as exhausting and overwhelming as it can be at times, the thing that always lights me up is watching how they experiment, adapt, and bounce back. They have this capacity to connect to themselves, to their inner knowing much quicker than we can as adults. They may not always be able to communicate what they want or what they’re thinking,, but you can see it in their eyes and body language if you look.
Kids show you who they are meant to be.
The struggles begin only when we adults project our own insecurities and uncertainties, our own needs, wants and desires. When we look through our own colored filter at who they are. The same filter that the adults in our lives had when we were children. And that the adults in their lives had when they were children and so on, back for generations.
Lessons learned
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through my experiences as a parent, pediatric genetic counselor, and family yoga teacher is that, when you take the opportunity to really look at kids through an unfiltered lens – when you stop and observe them being their true selves – it does two things: first, the kids feel it. They sense that you truly see them, trust them, and have their back. They open up to you because they know that they matter. It strengthens your relationships and creates more ease and joy when you’re together.
And, second, it gives you an opportunity to get curious about your own inner child. To reconnect with her through a different lens that the adults in her life at the time did. It allows you to start to see yourself as you were meant to be. To see your own superpowers and innate gifts so that you can truly be yourself.
Doing the inner work can bring up a lot of difficult emotions. It can feel uncomfortable. And, for most of us, there are many, many, MANY layers to uncover by the time we reach adulthood so it is not something that can be done quickly. But, in doing so, we get to break the cycle of looking at ourselves through filtered lenses. We get to heal and flow through our transitions and transformations with grace and compassion, trust and confidence. Knowing that we have a cheerleading squad of friends, partners, children, co-workers – whoever is in your support network – honoring you for doing the work, holding space when you need it, and ready to celebrate the changes you create!
Can I support you?
I have spent decades digging into the inner work, experimenting with different tools. A game-changer for me was learning my human design. As a genetic counselor, I was taught that, of the 108 billion people who have walked the Earth since humans first started walking this Earth, not a single other person has had the same combination of DNA and life experiences as you have.
You are unique. A one-time cosmic event. And you are here for a reason, you have a journey to take, superpowers to share.
Human design is a tool that can help you uncover who you’re meant to be and how you’re meant to make decisions so that you can create more ease and alignment in life.
Book a human design reading and let’s celebrate your unique gifts and unleash your superpowers!
