Hey there! Lately, I’ve been sitting with some heavy thoughts.
Recent events in the world have left me feeling uncertain, uncomfortable, and overwhelmed. You too?
Watching humans—both literally and figuratively—set the world on fire has taken a toll on my heart. Add to that the lack of empathy I am hearing in social media posts, political speeches, and honestly, even in private groups I’m in, the unrelenting demands of family life, running a business, and everything in between… It’s been a lot.
The beginning of the year often feels like a fresh start: a new calendar year, my birthday soon after. But, this year has felt different. I’ve felt an even deeper pull to pause and reflect on the lessons I’ve learned up until this point and which seeds that I’ve planted do I want to nourish moving forward and which am I willing to prune away.
In the midst of my reflection, I stumbled across a workshop I recorded back in 2017, during the early days of my business. Revisiting that content felt like reconnecting with an old friend, and it reminded me how vital self-care has always been in navigating life’s messiness.
Why Self-Care Matters
I’m sure you’re familiar with the plane analogy. It’s overused but also powerful. You know the one: you’re on a plane (hopefully heading somewhere fabulous), and the flight attendant reminds you to put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.
The point it makes is this: when you’re running on empty, you can’t fully be there for the people and causes you care about. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s how you refill your cup so you can keep pouring into the world around you.
Because you are an individual in the collective. And the collective needs you! It needs you to raise your voice and take inspired action. Opting out may allow those who love power to steal away even more while you’re in your bubble bath or yoga class.
But, without those bubble baths and yoga classes, without that full bucket, your voice and body may feel too exhausted to show up.
A balanced approach is a necessity.
That’s why I believe that self-care is about prioritizing your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being so you can show up as the best version of yourself. When you invest in your own resilience, you’re better equipped to navigate the tough days and fully embrace the good ones.
Creating Your Self-Care Toolbox
One thing that’s helped me stay grounded is my Self-Care Toolbox. It’s not a literal box (though that would be fun) but a collection of strategies, activities, and resources I can turn to when life feels overwhelming. In the Unleash Your Inner Cheerleader workshop I ran in 2017, I shared a few steps that I was using (and still come back to) to help me create mine.
1. Clarify Your Goals
What do you need to feel supported? Rest? Movement? Quiet time? Connection? Write it down. And here’s the kicker: ask yourself why these things matter. When you’re clear on your “why,” it becomes so much easier to prioritize yourself.
2. Anticipate the Challenges
Life happens. Work deadlines pile up, kids get sick, and that laundry mountain isn’t folding itself. Plan ahead by creating a list of quick, doable self-care wins. If you’ve got 10 minutes, what can you do? A walk? A favorite song? A few deep breaths? Knowing your go-tos keeps you from getting stuck when time is short.
3. Put it on the Calendar
I’ll be honest: this is one of the hardest ones for me follow. I mean, I’ll put it on the calendar but, as a sacral authority in my human design, I’m someone who likes to follow my gut and, sometimes what my gut told me I might want to do tomorrow at 10am, I don’t feel like doing when the time actually comes.
And, I’m learning that that’s ok too. The point is to treat self-care like the priority it is. Whether it’s a morning yoga class, an evening journaling session, or 15 minutes with your favorite book, make an appointment with yourself. Block off the time and honor it like you would any other important appointment.
If, in the moment, you find you’d rather be reading a cheesy airplane novel instead of journaling or washing last night’s dirty dishes while listening to a podcast instead of going to yoga, as long as you’re being intentional in using that time to do what makes you feel nourished, that’s a win in my book!
And speaking of wins…
4. Celebrate All the Wins!
Even the small ones! Every step, every action matters.
Did you manage to step away from your desk for a stretch? Amazing!
Took five extra minutes to breathe before diving into the chaos? Go you!
Rewards don’t have to be big. You don’t need to buy yourself a new journal, dress, or take yourself out to lunch. Some of the ways I celebrate are: bouncing on my rebounder, watching an episode of a favorite series, or just, literally, taking 10 seconds to pat myself on the back, or calling a friend.
Tackling the Guilt
Let’s get real for a second: the guilt is real. For a long time, I felt like prioritizing myself meant letting others down. But here’s what I’ve learned: not taking care of yourself doesn’t help anyone. Giving myself permission to take time for self-care while also letting my brain know that I’m not ignoring my other priorities has been transformative. It’s not about choosing between me and the world—it’s about making sure I’m strong enough to do my part in it.
Reflect, Reset, Course-Correct
Sometimes, even with the best intentions, things don’t go as planned. That’s life, right? But instead of seeing it as a failure, I’ve learned to approach it with curiosity. What worked? What didn’t? And what can I adjust next time?
Reflection is key to resetting. When you pause to reflect, you’re giving yourself the opportunity to learn and grow. Life is all about staying curious, and as the saying goes, when you know better, you do better.
Let Go of Perfection
As a recovering perfectionist (yes, it’s a process!), I’ve had to learn that self-care doesn’t have to look a certain way. Some days, it’s that bubble bath or a yoga session. Other days, it’s staying in bed an extra 10 minutes or eating cereal for dinner. And you know what? That’s okay.
Progress over perfection, always.
Here’s the thing: perfectionism is a trap that keeps us stuck. For some people, it can even develop as a trauma response. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Even Mary Poppins knew she was “practically perfect” not perfectly perfect.
When we let go of the need to do everything “right,” we open ourselves up to finding joy in the messy, imperfect moments. Self-care isn’t about getting it perfect—it’s about showing up for yourself in the ways that matter most.
Connection Is Part of Self-Care
Remember that, even though it’s called self-care, it doesn’t have to be a solo act.
Some of the most meaningful care comes from leaning into our connections. Meet a friend for coffee, join a group class, or hop on a call with someone who gets it. Community is there to listen and witness you as you walk your journey. Yes, your journey is a unique and solo one. But I don’t believe it was meant to be done alone. Connection fills my cup in ways nothing else can.
You Matter
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this: self-care isn’t about doing it all, and it’s definitely not about doing it perfectly. It’s about finding what works for you, giving yourself permission to rest, and showing up for yourself with compassion and grace.
So, what’s one small act of self-care you can commit to today? Whatever it is, know that it matters. You matter. And no matter how messy life feels, you’ve got this.
Cheering you on!
