I saw this quote and it really hit me.
As Dr. Remen shares, the language we use, and the energy behind the message, often creates unexpected impact.
Read Dr. Remen’s full reflections here.
How many times have you had a conversation and someone gets triggered by the other person’s words and the reply is: “but that’s not what I meant!” ?
There are consequences when our intentions don’t line up with the impact.
Dr. Ramen’s quote gives me pause. I have to reflect.
I think about “serving” my clients when I create a new offer but when, if I’m honest with myself, the energy I often put out is one of helping. In fact, “I help…” is the phrasing I was taught to put into my copy.
Do I see my clients as weaker than me? I don’t think so. But, is that the unintended consequence of my words? Does it give them permission to believe that I do or invite them to see themselves as weaker or needier?
I ask my children how I can help with their homework, my young yoga students seek my support in resolving their fights with others. I offer my help but, if I’m honest with myself, the energy I often put out is one of fixing.
Do I see my kids and students as broken? I definitely don’t think so. But, is that the unintended consequence of my words and actions? Does it give them permission to believe that I do or to write a story in which they feel they are broken and need an adult to fix their problems?
In my low moments, I feel weak and broken. It’s a daily practice not to let that energy lead me. But, I’d be lying if I didn’t recognize that, in my humanness, they sometimes – often – still do.
Is this why we’ve been a society of adults that are constantly searching for a magic pill to fix us? Searching for a savior to fix the world’s problems but don’t trust ourselves to be that person? Because, as children, we inherited and built upon this story?
Is this why we’ve been a society that, while purporting to be pro-life doesn’t truly honor children? That has built systems such as those of education and healthcare that are based on this belief that, we can validate our own need to feel strong and healed by helping and fixing them? Except, unlike us, children aren’t born feeling broken and weak. That is our projection onto them. Just as our parents projected on to us. And their parents did to them. And so on.
Dr. Remen’s words penetrated my body and are flooding my heart and soul. It’s our chance, our opportunity to begin, with intention, to break these unhelpful patterns now that we are aware of them.
I see so many beautiful and inspiring people, much more aware and woke than I am who are already creating this change. Who show up embracing their wholeness – their vulnerability and their courage, their strengths and their weaknesses – and act in service of others.
Human design is a tool that is helping me to discover my innate gifts as well as uncover the shadows I was born to embody. It is in becoming more whole, more connected to who I am – and loving (or, at least, accepting) all the parts of me, all the experiences I’ve had – so that I can truly show up and serve my family, my friends, my community, the world.
What’s the next smallest step?
How about starting each day with the mantra: I am all of me. I strive to see all of you. We are whole.
