Try This When You Need To Forgive

I’ll be honest, the last few weeks, following the last few months, have been especially hard.

Maybe you feel this way too?

There’ve been many days when I’ve really struggled to get out of bed. Just wanting to seek comfort in the warmth of my blanket.

So I did.

I wrapped myself up in my blanket.

I let myself just be sad, angry, scared, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, angry and sad again.

In my cocoon, my inner wisdom spoke.

I wrote this in my journal:

We’re here, in this time and place,
in this human space,
for a reason.

Our soul signed a contract to play this part in this masterpiece called, The True Human Experiment.

It’s a never-ending saga.
With ups and downs.
Smiles and frowns.
And a lot of ad-libbing.

We’ve come to a chapter with deep and beautiful change on the horizon.
We can see it, smell it.
taste it, feel it.
But we can’t touch it yet. 

Getting there won’t be an easy journey.
It’s an ultra-marathon, not a sprint. 

Patience is needed.
Love and hope to be seeded.
It’s time to work. 

Work on the scale of the caterpillar who has to literally break itself completely down into nothing more than a mass of cells that can then be rearranged and transformed into a butterfly. 

And, like the caterpillar, this work will take time. 
One step, one day, one breath at a time.

Begin with forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a difficult thing.

But, in order to change, we need to release parts of us that no longer serve.

Thoughts and beliefs that were learned through personal experience, taught by our elders and society, or developed as a coping strategy to keep me safe.

The thing about thoughts and beliefs is that our brain doesn’t want to let go of them.

Resentment, anger, frustration.

Shame, fear, discomfort.

Even draining relationships and unhealthy habits.

These are all deeply rooted in our psyche because developing them helped us survive to this point.

Letting go requires forgiveness.

I’ve learned to use the Ho’oponopono prayer.

It’s a Hawaiian forgiveness prayer. Used to resolve conflicts between people within a family but works well to resolve inner conflicts as well.

And it’s simple to do:

Step 1: Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and, notice how you feel in your body.

Step 2: Think of the thoughts and beliefs that are no longer serving you. Imagine yourself writing them down on paper and placing them on a table in front of you.

Step 3: As you step back from the table, repeat to yourself:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

Repeat those four phrases as many times as you imagine yourself walking further and further away from the table.

Step 4: When you are far away from the table, let the thoughts stay behind you as you let them go.

Some people like thinking of them burning up, or imagining a wind coming and blowing them away, or taking a broom and sweeping them away.

Because, the truth is that having those thoughts did serve you at one time. You just no longer need them to protect you anymore.

Ho’oponopono uses compassion, gratitude, forgiveness, and love to gracefully and respectfully release them without criticizing yourself for having them in the first place.

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
Thank you.
I love you.

Try it out on your own or listen here for a guided version (13 minutes):

How do you feel afterwards? I’d love to hear how it went. Send me an email and let me know what came up for you. I answer each email personally. 

And, for more, check out this playcast episode where I talk about how Ho’oponono has helped me.

To your health and happiness,

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