Welcome to “Notes from My Journal,” a space on my blogwhere I share intimate reflections and heartfelt musings, inviting you to join me on a journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. In this series of posts, you’ll find the raw emotions, lessons learned, and the beauty that unfolds when vulnerability meets ink.
A bit of back story…
My good friend and mentor, Lais, took us on a guided meditation during a recent sisterhood call.
I felt really challenged. I listened to my breath, I felt my body against the chair. I felt relaxed and peaceful. Until Lais asked us to connect with the deepest desires of our soul and to write down what messages came.
My mind started racing, my ego resisting. At first, I just wanted to scream, cry.
I, honestly, almost signed off the zoom call. But, my people-pleaser couldn’t think of a good excuse to give.
So, instead, I placed my hand on my heart and gave myself permission to write the whole truth. To trust that, if the resistance was there, it was serving a purpose. I chose to acknowledge it and let it be heard.
I put the pen down and opened my phone’s voice recorder and just started speaking. This is what came through.
THE DEEPEST DESIRES
What are the deepest desires of my soul?
It just feels like a giant hole
going down down down into the abyss.
The unknowing.
I struggle to connect.
I feel my mind wanting to control
Not letting me see the depths of my soul
The deepest desire of my soul?
To dance and sing
And stop fucking thinking
about things that don’t matter
cut out all that hurtful, useless mind chatter
that keeps me feeling small, weak, shattered.
What are the deepest desires of my soul?
To swim in the waters playing tag with the fish
knowing and trusting that I am fulfilling a sacred wish
to create an impact in this world that will leave this world a better place
then it was when my soul landed in this space.
My soul desires to ascend, transform
to feel comfortable and free to speak up, perform
without fear or worry that somebody will come and pop my bubble
or try to get me in trouble.
My soul wants to soar like an eagle in the wind
to have coffee with a friend
and to know that with every breath I take
every action I make
I send empathy and love out to the world.
The deepest desire of my soul
is to live to see the pendulum shift.
The healing of the human rift.
