* This article was originally published in Soulacy Magazine. Soulacy is an incredible digital publication for soul-led people looking to learn more about wellness, wealth, and leadership. Check out more inspiring articles by the diverse team of writers or buy a yearly subscription to read more each month!
I love fall.
It’s probably my favorite season. Don’t get me wrong, I love a day at the beach and the long summer nights. I love the colorful bouquets of springtime and drinking hot chocolate by the fire in winter.
But, there’s something about the fall. Maybe it’s the energy of the harvesting season. It feels like you’re being rewarded for all the planting and nourishing you’ve done over the past year. The tying up of loose ends and slowing down as our primitive bodies and brains start to prepare for hibernation as the days get shorter and the temperatures drop.
My love of fall goes back to childhood. The excitement of going back to school and seeing friends after a summer away. Shopping for new clothes and school supplies left me feeling like a new person. A new year, a fresh start. It symbolized a time of transitions and traditions.
And, as a Jewish woman, fall is also when we celebrate the New Year with a month of holidays packed in. So, this is always a time of festivities and connecting with family and traditions.
But, as I’ve gotten older and had kids of my own, fall also has an added chaoticness. Re-adjusting to new class schedules and sports practices. Blocking out time for all the back-to-school shopping, school meetings, doctor appointments. And being around a lot more people who all feel this same pressure.
And, even though we’ve had loads of time to prepare, it always seems like we’re ripping the band-aid off. Waiting until the last minute to get the kids back on an appropriate sleep schedule and meal planning.
I hear this from my clients too. “I’m so TIRED and it’s only the first week of school!” Especially this year as we’re still navigating the pandemic, uncertain of what tomorrow might look like, and trying to hold space for our own emotions and those of our kids.
It’s enough to make any busy momma yearn for another vacation!
As Maya Angelou wrote:
“Every person needs to take one day away. A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future. Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence. Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.”
You don’t need to pack a suitcase or buy a plane ticket just yet.
The definition of vacation, according to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is: a period spent away from home or business in travel or recreation. The length of the period is not defined.
A “vacation” doesn’t have to be long to be replenishing. It just has to be intentional. Here is an exercise I have used myself and with clients during Find The Fun coaching sessions:
Imagine
First, grab a pen and paper and start by mapping out the activities that you love to do when you’re on a vacation.
Try this journal prompt:
If time were not an issue, I would want to be doing __________________________________
Take your time. List out all the activities that feel relaxing, replenishing, and fun!
Plan
Next, looking at the list you just created, it’s time to set your intentions for what you’re going to do. This can require a bit of planning.
Consider questions like:
Consider questions like:
- How long does each activity take?
- Are there particular times of day that each activity needs to be done in?
- Are there any required materials necessary for the activity?
Act
Pick a couple of activities from your list, based on the time you have in your day, that you can incorporate into your schedule.
Second, look at your list and pick one or two that you’d like to add into your routine. If your workload is super busy, maybe you want to pick one of the activities that takes less time so you don’t feel pressure to carve out time in your packed schedule. Or, maybe you want to pick an activity that is longer and give yourself permission to block time on your calendar to do it. Again, there’s no right or wrong way to do this. Just the way that feels most safe, fun, and easy for you.
For many people, it can help to, not only SAY you’re going to do it but to actually, physically, write it into your calendar and block out the time.
Consider: Do I need to inform anyone what I’m doing and when?
For example, does your partner need to go pick up the children from school? Or do your kids need to know that mommy is going to be taking a bubble bath for 15 minutes?
Tip for getting buy-in from kids: setting a timer can help kids keep track of the time so they will feel safe and leave you alone.
Give it time
If this feels scary, know that it’s perfectly normal! Give yourself compassion and grace. Changing habits can feel challenging.
One of the reasons that a lot of us say we’re going to start new things but never do is because of how our brains are designed. Our brain’s more primitive and primary job is to keep us safe and protected. Because of this, any change – even a good change – can feel uncomfortable and trigger our brain to come up with all the excuses that stop us from implementing the change.
There is a way you can support your brain in this process.
Studies have shown that one of the best ways to help our brains adapt to the idea of adding something new into our schedule is to “anchor” the activity to something else we’re already doing. For example, brushing your teeth, eating lunch, dropping the kids off at school. If this sounds like you, give this a try:
Pick an anchor action that you’ll do immediately before you start your new activity and write it down. After I _____________________ (anchor activity), I’ll ____________________ (self-care activity).
Example: After I eat lunch, I’ll read a chapter in my book.
Celebrate
I’m a big fan of celebrating action-taking. Celebrations can be big or small. They reinforce an internal validation and can help keep you motivated.
Plan out how you’ll celebrate:
To celebrate taking action, I will __________________________
Need Support?
If you are someone who finds it challenging to set habits or you’re someone who thrives when you have accountability and external cheerleading to stay motivated, check out my FIND THE FUN coaching sessions. Let’s get you’re list created and plans set so you can go from feeling overwhelmed and overtired to relaxed and replenished!
