Hi. So I wanted to share today because I'm feeling really sad. 

We found out last night that a work colleague of my husband's, who had become a friend, passed away. And we don't have much more details. We don't know if it was from COVID. We don't think so. But we, it's somebody who wasn't a part of our everyday life, but somebody that you think of occasionally, and you're like, I like that guy, we should hang out with him more. 

And it, I wanted to share. Because it's really hard to sit with grief. And especially during this time, when so much feels out of our control. And that's one of the things about grief: is we, we can't control our emotions. It's like a roller coaster, sometimes you're angry, sometimes you're sad. Sometimes you're in denial, you go through like that existential, like, what's the point of it all, if we're just gonna die. 

There's so many emotions. And it's so uncomfortable. 

And what I've been learning about grief, and about this period, in general, is the importance of being present in the moment. 

And so I really wanted to share that I'm sad, because that's where I am in this moment. And also to give permission to anyone out there who's feeling like they need to do and push through - they need to do things and push through the discomfort - to give you permission to just BE. 

Just to be how you are. Just feel how you feel, even if it's uncomfortable. And really sitting with that feeling. 

Reach out to a friend who can talk to you about that feeling. Record a video so that you can share your feelings. It's okay to be in those feelings. And the more we give ourselves permission to be and to feel the discomfort, unhappy, sad feelings, not only the more do they show us the lesson that we, that we can gather from that, but also, just as a sign of respect to that thing that we're sad about. 

So today, like it feels like a sign of respect to the life of our friend. Because he was really depressed. And he probably didn't know that people cared about him this way. And so versus being sad and respecting him and his memory is actually making me feel like I'm doing something, something that I couldn't do before to help him. 

It's just okay to be sad. It's just okay to be uncomfortable. Those feelings, we can't numb selectively. So if you're trying to numb and not feel the bad feelings, you're not going to feel the good feelings as much either.

I really felt called to share that and to let you know, because I know there are a lot of people out there that are feeling discomfort right now. And it's okay. It's okay to feel that discomfort. It's okay to let the feelings to sit with them and let them flow through you how they need to flow through you. And if you need any support, if you need any comfort, if you need somebody to listen, please reach out with a DM let me know. I'm here. I get it. And I'm sending you so much hope and health and love. Have a wonderful day wherever you are, and however you feel, take care. 

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