So today I want to talk about planting seeds. 

I have been a spiritual person for a very long time, but I rejected my spirituality or I didn't really understand what spirituality meant for a very long time. And so I feel like I'm just starting to embrace the spiritual and the woo. And I'm really learning about how that plays a role in my personal development. 

And part of that, for me, has been looking for signs and thoughts and prompts that help me process what's going on and to help me kind of clear some of the mental junk and the mind f*cks that go on that have been holding me back. 

As spring is springing, and last Wednesday was the Taurus Moon - I was at a New Moon ceremony, which is still really new to me - and they were talking about, she was sharing that this is a Taurus Moon and that Taurus is all about planting seeds and getting ready to grow new things. 

And so, spring is springing, we're planting seeds, it all felt like this message that I was needed to learn right now or to sit with is: what are the seeds that I want to plant? And what do I want to grow? What do I want to grow in myself? What do I want to grow as a mom what I want to grow as a business owner? What I want to grow as a wife? Like, what do I want to grow? 

And what an amazing time here during this Coronavirus confinement, to really have the time to have these conversations and to have these thoughts and it's not necessarily comfortable. But there we are. 

And so when I was sitting with the seeds that I wanted to grow, um, what came up was that there are a whole lot of seeds that I have been tending to, that are not mine. They are thoughts and beliefs that come from other people. Things like how I should be interacting with my children, or what kind of business I should be running or what kind of actions I should be taking in my business, or how much I should or should not be drinking. 

So this came up in a conversation with a with a friend and a mastermind this morning, she was saying that a message that she was seeing a lot in the world right now is this the word sober kept coming up. It was coming up in a lot of the whoo stuff she was reading it was coming up for her a lot. And she really enjoys a glass of wine and sitting outside in the sun. And should she be thinking about being sober and giving up wine? And when she said this, I instantaneously had that thought about the seeds. 

And I was like, "Is this your seeds to be tending to this idea of being sober? Is that just, um, does it mean not being able to drink? Or does it mean being more mindful and present when you're drinking, and drinking from a place of having fun, not drinking from a place of numbing. And it led me to really start thinking about the other seeds that have been planting because I totally get that I every time I have a glass of wine. I love to sit in the sun and drink and it makes me feel mindful and present. And this is the end of my day and I'm transitioning. But I also know those thoughts about like, oh, I can't drink too much, or how am I feeling? Do I feel like the alcohol is taking over? I'm staying in control. So I get those thoughts and those thoughts often stop me from intuiting the glass of wine, and those thoughts aren't mine and some of them those thoughts come from past behaviours. Those thoughts come from past from from seeing how other people drink. I was never really the person who drank until I got drunk. I did get drunk sure but I was never the person who drank until I specific drank for the purpose of getting drunk. 

It was always about enjoyment. 

So that's fun. That for me feels like something, I'm ready to get rid of that that idea that drinking equals losing control. It's not a seed that I need to tend to anymore. And another seed that I do want to attend to, a belief I do want to have, a thing I do want to grow, is this idea that I get to choose how I want to be. I get to be unapologetically me. I get to wake up every morning and say, Who do I want to be today? Who am I today? Not: What do I have to do today? Or what... to feel busy all the time just so that I can feel like I'm doing something. I don't want to DO anymore. I want to BE. And I love that idea that I get to plant the seed to be me, unapologetically me and I get to decide what unapologetically me looks like. 

So that's what I'm sitting with and journaling on today. And would love to encourage you if you're willing to sit and journal on like, what are the seeds that you want to grow? As a parent, as a woman, as a man, as a partner, as a human? What seeds do you want to plant right now? And what plants, what seeds, have you been tending to that are not yours, that you're ready to stop tending to to give back to their rightful owner, to pass on to somebody else? 

I would love to hear what comes up for you as you're sitting with that. And I hope you have a beautiful day. Take care. 

Transcribed by Otter.ai 
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