This lockdown period has really been a rollercoaster. There are good days and bad days.
Days of celebration and days of extreme grief.
On the good days, I cannot help but marvel at how nature is thriving because we’re not interfering.
Animals – ducks, foxes, even seals – are walking down the streets all over the world, exploring the wide open, human-free spaces! Have you seen this adorable video that’s going around the interwebs?
But, as news starts coming in of friends and their loved ones affected by the coronavirus, there are days when I really struggle to feel anything other than sadness and anger.
One day recently, I found it virtually impossible to focus on anything.
I was completely zapped of energy.
I know that I have so much to be grateful for. My family is healthy. I have not lost anyone close to me.
Yet, I was still enveloped in a deep grief that I could not ignore. I fluctuated between wanting to curl up in a ball and hide to wanting to punch everything and everyone.
I didn’t hurt anyone, of course, but I did cry for hours.
During one crying episode, I pulled a card from my Mother’s Wisdom Deck. Looking for some guidance and some nurturing.
If you’ve seen my Monday Facebook lives when I pull cards, you know that, I’ve pulled enough cards and collected enough evidence to convince my scientifically-trained brain that the universe brings you the right message at the right time.
The message I got that day from the Mother’s Wisdom deck was: “allow yourself to dive deep into the grief of Winter, trusting that the Spring will return.”
This period of time is unprecedented.
We don’t know what’s going to happen next.
We don’t know when this will end.
We don’t know what daily life will look like when it’s over.
A lot is out of our control.
But, we do know that the Earth will keep spinning. This moment is only temporary. This moment, as overwhelming as it feels, provides an opportunity.
An opportunity to give ourselves full permission to feel our feelings:
To look at how life was before – what lit you up? What were you ready to let go of?
To look at how life is during this lockdown – what do you like? What are you missing?
And, to put together a vision for how you want to show up in the world going forward.
And, because I truly do believe that we aren’t meant to grieve alone, I reached out to friends including the incredible, Uma Girish.
I describe Uma as a fierce momma dragon and a gentle baby lamb rolled into one. As an author, grief coach, and spiritual mentor, Uma holds space for you with love, grace, and wisdom.
Uma and I talked about how to find compassion in the face of uncertainty and grief. And, she was so generous in agreeing to let me record our call so I could share it with you.
Sending peace and love and health to you and your loved ones.